A couple years ago, consistency was a my word, or at least it was for a few days. I chose this word because I wanted to develop habits of marketing my practice better. I would write a post or blog once every few months, I would hold a workshop once a month for a few months and then drop them like a hot potato for the rest of the year. I just wanted to develop a habit, so it became something easy I did with regularity, hence consistency. I was excited and on-board with this word/idea and then I had coffee with a coach of sorts that works with people's strengths based on a test they take. Upon her inquiry of my "word" for that year, she began to steer me away from it. All that stuck with me was that consistency is what people think they want, but it really is something else. That consistency is too rigid. I understood her meaning and ending up dropping the word/intention, but felt a little empty with letting it go. I was not consistent that year and at this moment am not even sure what my word ended up being for that year.
This year, I knew that Devotion was for me. As I started journaling and doing my meditations/breath work practices, I realized consistency was still what I wanted. However, this morning, I understood something even deeper. Devotion is consistency, but in a more intimate, nurturing manner. Devotion is what I truly am interested in because it is the self-inquiry, self-curiosity with a deep loving presence. It's intimate and guided, not the check-list I associate with consistency. It is still consistent, a regular practice, but it is about knowing me and what I am moved to do with gentleness, loving presence.
Consistency, often becomes that "to-do list" that we barrel through unconsciously. I have no problems with checklists, but when we are moving through it without any awareness, it's like going through your day in a coma until all the items are checked off. Then you have this sense of accomplishment, followed by a short burst of energy, then a feeling of "what now?" and then fatigue. Or, maybe that's just me. Bringing loving presence into the activities on the to-do list, being aware of how you are feeling in the body, what you are thinking during the activities can transform your life. You might be surprised at the amount of negative self-talk you have during some of the "to-do's". Taking the time to notice and forgive yourself for thinking about you in that manner will begin to shift your mood, energy and physical appearance. But, if you go through your daily checklist in a coma, you are missing out on precious time with yourself. It may not be easy to hear your own thoughts, but it is enlightening. Finding and allowing more loving presence, gentleness and curiosity into your daily thoughts, behaviors and actions will truly begin to change the way you move through life and the way life moves through you. This is devotion to Self.